Forms, forms....Not for me, but for the Other Guy
June 16 (again)
I called Dr. Warren's office early this afternoon to make sure the forms I had taken to their office on Monday were ready to be picked up. She asked what time was I coming by? (a sure sign that she had not even started completing them). I asked what time does her office close; 5 pm; told her I would be there at 4:30. I went to the library to check over the forms - why didn't she put the procedure codes and the fee charged? It's a question on the form! I called her and had to hand-write in what she forgot to include. Then I cried--again--it is just so overwhelming sometimes--I try not to cry in front of Earl--although I did today (twice) -- he just says, "What's wrong?"-- I tell him menopause. I wish it were only that.
7:45 pm
After dinner (Earl finished almost all of his chicken broth & some of his coffee, but did not want to touch the jello, the fruit punch, or the lemon sorbet) we were watching Hoffa on TV, but nothing matters anymore, except this. It is ALL so insignificant. I then helped him with a couple of things, then told him I needed to go for a walk.
I will be going home on the South Shore tomorrow afternoon; Jonathan will pick me up at Dune Park. I need to copy & mail off the completed forms from Dr. Warren's office. I think I will send them registered mail on Saturday.
It is probably a good thing that I am leaving him for a day or so; I think the extent of his illness is starting to sink in to him and I believe he needs some time to be alone, without me fussing over every thing he does or does not eat and every mark he makes on the plastic breathing machine. We (the kids & my sister & bro-in-law) are planning on coming back up on Sunday for Father's Day; I will probably stay Sunday night & hope he is released on Monday or Tuesday.
I finally found the Chapel this evening. It is larger than most I have seen and is in the Kellogg building; it seems older than other buildings. I truly felt the presence of God in that chapel. Of course, I prayed for him to be healed, but I also prayed for the strength I am going to need in the next several days, weeks, months, and hopefully, years.
I keep thinking about people I have known with cancer; some lost & some won. Of course, we never think it will happen to us; it always happens to OTHER people. Somebody I once knew told me a long time ago: "You know that commercial that says 'Watch out for the Other Guy'? Well, I'M the Other Guy!" Anyone of us can become "the Other Guy."
Thank you again to everyone for your prayers. Please don't stop.
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