New Every Two

My cell phone uses the above tag line to advise customers that they can get a new cell phone, free of charge, every two years if they stay on the plan. Last February, Katie & I took the bait and "re-upped" for another 2 years. It hardly seems like it had been that long since Earl & I went into the phone store and purchased a phone for his Dad & Mom and added a line to our plan. I still remember him saying that his parents, although very independent, were getting up in years and he felt it was up to him, as the only son, to take care of them in any way he could. We had been going to their house at least once a week or so, and were trying to help with chores and housekeeping. Little did we know he only had about 7 months to live at that point. I wonder if, subconciously, the mind knows when the body is starting to die? Not that he had previously ignored his parents; quite the opposite, but he felt more responsible for them in the several months before his illness was diagnosed. Other incidents that happened in the year before his death also seemed to happen for a reason. I look back now and marvel at events that seemed so routine, yet each one taught me something I needed to know for the as-yet-unknown future on my own.



The past two years have been "new" for me and the kids. A friend of mine asked me several months ago how I was doing--I told her OK - it was "different". She commented, "the new normal?" That struck me as the best way to describe it. When I think of "normal" routines before May of 2005, and "normal" routines now, the differences are huge. "Normal" now means filling the coffee pot at night for only my use; not making Earl's lunch at night; checking the basement sump pump and water softener; resetting the light timers; sleeping only with the cat.......etc.



If the first two years are supposed to be the most difficult, I should be relieved, but I can't see myself missing him less. The smallest of "triggers" can bring on a flood of grief and tears. Will this still be "normal" after another two years? Or will unknown challenges and new routines bring yet another "new every two"?