In the Driver's Seat

Many things have come to mind over the past several months that I felt I wanted to share, but somehow time constraints had me always doing something else. After Earl's birthday, then came the holidays and although it was very hard, I felt it was something I had to do. Even though Jonathan & Katie are not "kids" anymore, I knew that the comfort of our Christmas routine was important for them. January and February passed as I continued to sort out medical bills, insurance policies, changed health insurance, filed taxes, refiled tax exemption after refinancing, went to a grief support group at the VNA, and many other things I never thought I would have to do, let alone do them by myself. At times it was overwhelming and I just had to take a step back and breathe.
I had a small family party for Jonathan's birthday in March, went to my sister-in-law's house for Easter and just had another family get-together for Katie's birthday, which was yesterday. I can hardly believe she is 17 years old; at her Sweet Sixteen party last year, we had no idea of the events to come. Earl had told me several times that day how everything tasted "so good", and if he was having problems, he gave absolutely no indication to anyone. One of the photos I shot that day is Earl & his Dad on our deck. I have to admit that I purposely caught that moment because I figured that Dad was almost 82 years old and--well, you just never know! How true that statement became, but with a Hitchcock twist.


Most kids, by the time they are 16 either already have their driver's license, or are working on it, but of course, that was the farthest thing from my mind last summer. After recent discussions with Katie (and a failed test at the BMV for a regular learner's permit) I decided to have her do the Driver's Training course at Excel Driving Instruction. She is about half-way finished and I am glad I decided on the investment. I should recoup the cost in about 2 years on my auto insurance. Jon also took the Excel course, and it made him an excellent driver, if you don't count his three speeding tickets and getting hit in the rear. ;-} At least we collected from the other party on that one.........

Earl used to drive when we went on vacation and I was the navigator. I had never driven to Chicago before he became sick--it just was not necessary, since he was used to driving up to the Conservatory when he was going to school. We would share kid chauffeuring duties, whether to flute lessons, rehearsals, friend's houses, or whatever. Now, whenever Katie & I go somewhere, I usually let Katie drive to get more experience. When I drive alone, I seem to drive more carefully than I used to. I am the only one they have now.

Sometimes it's lonely in the Driver's Seat.